She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
