so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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