dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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