in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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