It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
