everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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