office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
