East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I could fuck to npr.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
