she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
