im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
