ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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