I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
