He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is it penis luge time yet?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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