that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
