i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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