I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
