you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
