I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
