redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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