Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
splinters make it hard to masturbate
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
