2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
