Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
