is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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