Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
