Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just invented taco cereal.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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