so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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