I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
