when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
