he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
