thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
