question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
