he shaved USA in his pubs
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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