we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
