Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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