I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
