um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
tell me about the fingering
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