His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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