They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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