I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's blow job season.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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