Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
