You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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