fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
