my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
third nipple confirmed
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
