so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
