So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Yo dont text me then not text me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
