My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
