I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
