I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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