I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just gargled with NyQuil
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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