dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
